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Don’t be embarrassed to go on couples therapy

Relationships go through many phases and it can have a a few rough and painful patches. However, the strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with those rough patches, and move ahead.  Divorce statistics in the last couple of decades have increased, however, while divorce and separation is necessary in many cases to avoid further troubles and emotional distress, some problems are circumstantial and can be reversible.

We believe that love should be given a chance, and that there are relationships that can be saved, if only the people involved take that first step and make that last ditch effort to save their relationship. And, this is where the couple therapy comes in. Our approach towards couples therapy is oriented not only towards solving the problems the couple is facing with each other, but to revive the feeling of love and affection they have towards each other, which even though might have been buried deep within, can still be very much present.

Meet the Four Horsemen

Here’s more about the Four Horsemen:

Criticism: “The difference between criticism and complaint is that a criticism is deeply personal,” said marriage and family therapist Shane Perrault in Greenbelt, Md.  Most conversations that begin with criticism will move to an argument, said Perrault, which is why it helps to learn how to communicate effectively.

Defensiveness: Defensiveness can arise in response to criticism, but it is essentially dismissing or invalidating your partner’s statement, said Perrault. It represents turning away from your partner

Stonewalling: Stonewalling means one partner isn’t communicating. “There’s a physiological component to it, as well, called flooding, when your pulse goes to about 110 beats per minute. You can’t take in new information because you’re prepared for fight or flight,” Perrault explained. It’s important to take a break when this occurs before coming back to the conversation.

Contempt: “When contempt is there, you are turning against that person. Their need for affection makes you hostile,” said Twine.

Doing the Work

Each marriage will have a different mix of communication patterns, so solutions will likely be specific to your marriage.

To conquer the Four Horsemen, couples can expect “homework” on a regular basis and will be expected to put into practice those things they learn in therapy.